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Divorce can make you question everything.
- What happens to the house?
- Will I be okay financially?
- What am I actually entitled to?
- What does custody really mean?
- What should I be asking my attorney?
Maybe you have already hired a lawyer and you are still confused. You leave meetings with more questions than you had going in. You hear words like discovery, marital estate, parenting time, service and filing, but no one has really explained what they mean for you.
Sometimes the problem is not that your attorney is not answering your questions.
It is that you and your attorney may be answering two different questions.
That is where HAHLAH® Consulting comes in.
Lori Hogen helps women navigating divorce understand the process, organize their information and prepare the right questions so they can make better use of their time with their attorney and feel more confident about what comes next.
You do not need to understand everything today.
You need to know where you are, what you are missing and what to ask next.
Trusted Support for Women Navigating Divorce in Minnesota
Divorce has its own language.
Most people have never needed to know that language until suddenly they are expected to make major decisions using it.
Terms like marital estate, legal custody, parenting time, service, filing and discovery have specific meanings. When you are also dealing with the emotional and financial reality of ending a marriage, it can be hard to keep everything straight.
You may know what you are trying to say but not know the right words to use.
You may think you understand what your attorney told you, only to realize later that you were talking about two different things.
You may be frustrated with your attorney when the real issue is that you do not yet understand why certain steps need to happen before others.
Lori helps fill that gap.
HAHLAH® Consulting gives you a place to slow down, ask questions, organize what you know and prepare for the conversations that matter.
You May Have More Questions Than Answers Right Now
Maybe you are trying to gather financial records but do not know exactly what you need.
Maybe most of your accounts are in your husband's name and you are worried that means you have nothing.
Maybe you told your attorney you want full custody but are beginning to realize that the word custody does not mean exactly what you thought it did.
Maybe you think your divorce has already been filed, but you are not sure whether your spouse was served or paperwork was actually filed with the Court.
Maybe you are frustrated because your spouse has not provided financial information and you do not understand why your attorney has not forced them to provide it.
Or maybe you are simply tired of paying for conversations and leaving them feeling like you still do not understand what is going on.
You should not have to become an expert in divorce law to participate in your own divorce.
You do need enough understanding of the process to know what questions to ask and when something does not make sense.
Why the Traditional Divorce Process Feels So Draining
Hiring an attorney is an important part of many divorces.
But your attorney has a specific job. Your attorney provides legal advice and legal representation.
There is still a lot that happens outside of those conversations.
You may need to gather years of financial records.
You may need to make sense of accounts you have never managed.
You may need to organize information before mediation.
You may need someone to explain terminology in plain English before you can even figure out what you want to ask your attorney.
That is where divorce consulting can help.
Lori can help you understand the process, organize information and recognize when there may be a disconnect between the question you are trying to ask and the answer you are receiving.
The goal is not to replace your attorney.
The goal is to help you walk into those conversations better prepared.
When you know what you have, what you are missing and what you need to ask, you can spend more of your attorney time discussing the things that actually require legal advice.
Four Common Divorce Misunderstandings Lori Sees Again and Again
"I Have No Money. Everything Is In His Name."
Lori hears this often.
A woman looks at her financial situation and sees that the bank accounts are in her husband's name. The investment accounts are in his name. Maybe the house is not in her name either.
Her immediate conclusion is:
"I have nothing."
But access to an asset and how that asset may be treated as part of the marital estate are not necessarily the same question.
There may be money and property connected to the marriage even if you do not currently control or have access to it.
In some situations, an attorney may need to get involved to help obtain information or access. Your attorney is also the person who should advise you about your legal rights and how particular property may be treated.
Lori can help you start with a different question.
What actually exists?
From there, she can help you organize what you know, identify what information you do not have and prepare questions for your attorney.
That can give you a much clearer picture of your finances than simply assuming, "It is not in my name, so I get nothing."
"I Told My Lawyer I Wanted Full Custody."
Custody is one of the terms Lori sees misunderstood most often.
A parent tells her attorney:
"I want full custody."
She believes everyone understands exactly what she means.
But she may actually be talking about who has authority to make certain decisions for the children.
Her attorney may be thinking about where her children spend their time.
Those are not necessarily the same conversation.
Terms like parenting time, physical custody and legal custody matter because they help define what you are actually asking for.
Lori helps you get underneath the terminology.
What are you concerned about?
What outcome are you trying to describe?
What question do you actually need your attorney to answer?
Getting clear on those questions before an attorney meeting can prevent a lot of frustration.
"I Already Filed for Divorce."
Serving divorce papers and filing paperwork with the Court are different steps.
That distinction can be confusing when people casually use the words interchangeably.
You may think your divorce has been filed when what actually happened is that your spouse was served.
Or you may know paperwork was completed but not understand whether it has been filed with the Court.
If you and your attorney are using different words to describe where you are in the process, it becomes difficult to understand what happens next.
Lori can help you get clear about what has already happened, what terminology is being used and what questions you should bring to your attorney about the next step.
"Why Isn't My Lawyer Making Them Hand Everything Over?"
Another term that creates confusion is discovery.
Discovery is the process of obtaining and exchanging information relevant to the divorce.
Often, the process begins informally. Attorneys request documents and information with the expectation that the parties will cooperate and exchange what is needed.
If that does not happen, there are more formal legal procedures an attorney may consider, including interrogatories, requests for production of documents, subpoenas and depositions.
If no one has explained that progression, it can feel like nothing is happening.
You may be wondering why your attorney is not forcing your spouse to provide information.
You may even start questioning whether your attorney is doing enough.
Lori can help you understand what information has been requested, what you already have, what appears to be missing and what questions you need to ask your attorney.
She is not there to second guess your attorney.
She is there to help you understand the conversation.
These Situations Have One Thing in Common
The details are different, but the problem is often the same.
You are trying to make important decisions inside a process you have never been taught to understand.
That can lead to unnecessary confusion.
You think you have no money because you cannot access the accounts.
You think you and your attorney agreed on custody when you were talking about different things.
You think paperwork was filed when it was actually served.
You think your attorney is not pursuing missing financial information when the process is still in an earlier stage.
Lori helps bridge those gaps.
She can help you understand what is happening, organize the information you already have and prepare better questions for the other professionals involved in your divorce.
That means your next conversation can start somewhere very different.
Instead of spending the first part of the meeting trying to explain what you mean, you can arrive ready to say:
"Here is what I have. Here is what I am missing. Here is what I understand. And here are the questions I need answered."
Your First Step Toward Clarity
You do not need to solve your entire divorce today.
Start with one conversation.
During your Divorce Clarity Call, Lori will learn more about where you are in the process and what is causing the most confusion.
The goal is simple.
Leave the conversation feeling more organized, more informed and less overwhelmed than when you started.
No pressure.
No judgment.
No expectation that you already know how divorce works.
Just a conversation about where you are, what you need and whether HAHLAH® Consulting can help.
How HAHLAH® Consulting Can Help
Depending on where you are in your divorce, Lori can help you:
- Prepare for attorney meetings and mediation
- Organize financial records and important documents
- Get a clearer picture of your financial situation
- Understand commonly used divorce terminology
- Identify information that may still be missing
- Prepare more useful questions for your attorney
- Understand where you are in the divorce process
- Sort through information that feels overwhelming
- Recognize possible communication gaps
- Make better use of the time you spend with your attorney
- Feel less alone while you work through the process
Every divorce is different.
The support you need should be different too.
Working With Lori Can Save You Money
Divorce can be expensive. Not every question or task needs to be handled at an attorney's hourly rate.
Many of the things Lori helps clients with are similar to work often handled by a paralegal, including organizing financial documents, reviewing information for gaps, preparing questions, helping you understand the process and getting you ready for meetings with your attorney.
Lori's rates are often lower than paralegal billing rates at Twin Cities law firms, and significantly lower than what you may pay for an attorney's time.
Her experience also means she knows what she is looking for.
She can often quickly spot missing information, recognize when something does not add up, or realize that the question you are asking is different from the question your attorney is answering.
That efficiency matters when you are paying professionals by the hour.
It can also be much more cost effective to ask Lori:
"Can you explain what this means again?"
than to schedule another conversation with your attorney simply because you did not fully understand the process the first time.
The same is true for preparation.
If you can spend time with Lori organizing documents, sorting through questions and figuring out what actually needs your attorney's attention, you can walk into your next legal meeting ready to use that time well.
Your attorney can focus on the legal work only they can do.
Lori can help with the preparation, organization and understanding that happens around it.
The goal is not to add another expense to your divorce. It is to help you use the money you are already spending more wisely.
Spend Attorney Time on Attorney Work
Use Lori's time to get organized, understand the process and prepare your questions.
Then use your attorney's time for the legal advice, strategy and representation you hired them to provide.
You Do Not Have to Figure This Out Alone
You may not understand all of the terminology yet.
You may not know what information you are missing.
You may not even know whether you are asking the right questions.
That is a reasonable place to start.
You do not need to become a divorce lawyer to get through your divorce.
You need to understand enough about your own situation to know what is happening, what information matters and what questions to ask.
Lori can help you get there.
One conversation can help turn:
"I don't even know where to start."
into:
"Okay. I know what I need to do next."